The Intro

Hi, I'm Gary. For a while now people have asked me when I'm gonna start writing a blog about my running. Well...this is it. Don't expect much. I'm not thrilled with the idea of having a blog about running. I just think that there are enough blogs out there about people and their running. Typically, they tend to be loaded with pointless information. No offense to people who write them, but all that crap about each mile split, what you ate for dinner, the weather on race day, the security line at the airport, your lame excuses on why you ran poorly, and bragging about how awesome you are is only relevant to you. Again, no offense. It's your blog, so it only has to be relevant to you, but I figure I'll try something a little different.

I thought I would loosely base this on running just for the sake of having a central theme. I did just kinda bash people for bragging, so I'll keep the running credentials brief and stupid. Lets just say that I've run a few marathons. I lose about 86% of the time. I've worked my PR down to a 2:32, and once in a while my penis gets chafed during the race. That should be sufficient for now.

Running in general is a boring topic. The only dumber sport is Curling. A lot of sports contain running, but in addition, involve kicking a ball, swinging a bat, or tackling someone. Doing more than one thing at a time is WAY too complicated for me. Swimming sucks because I don't float, biking hurts my balls, I'm not Canadian, and I'm too scrawny to survive any contact sport, so by default I've settled on running. There's very little strategy involved. In order to win, you simply need to run faster than everybody else and make it to the finish line first. See? Pretty stupid. If something interesting ever arises in my running life then I'll share it, but this will mostly be me complaining, pointless profanity, heavy sarcasm, and the occasional poop joke.

Look what I named my blog. Don't take anything I write too seriously. Since they haven't perfected immortality yet, we are all going to die. Accept it, and enjoy yourself. I suggest that you live life everyday like it's your last; someday it will be, and you'll be prepared. The part of the name about eating right is meant to be ironic. If you exercise enough, then you can basically eat whatever the hell you want. Dietitians will tell you otherwise, but I'm not one of them. Go organic if you want, but I won't be out there paying double for a half pint of shitty raspberries that rot before I get home. Vegan means no cheese, which means no pizza, which for me means - no fucking way. The vegetarian diet forbids bacon. Fuck that.

That's gonna be about it for now. We'll get into some fun stuff next time.